I hate waking up this early. I really, really do. Parts of it are nice--in this case being woken up by the oh-so-steady patter of rain on the roof of my trailer--but the rest? Not so much. The rest being time to think. I woke up about an hour ago when the sky decided to open up and make loud noises outside, and haven't been able to get back to sleep even though I was up until about midnight last night.

That means I've gotten five hours of sleep, and my brain won't shut off and let me have any more.

I promised an explanation, right? For why I've been--and really still am--on hiatus?

Well.

Uh.

...I moved back out of my brother's house and in with my parents. Sort of. Instead of living in the same bedroom as my sisters, I'm in my own trailer now, off the back of the house. It's small, smaller than my room back at Colin's, but it's comfortable enough. Homey, I guess.

Still, at times like this I feel awfully displaced. I've had the worst art block lately, I can't even color anything, not even anything that's almost finished--this means massive apologies to those I owe commissions, they're the first things getting finished once I can do more than very rough sketches again. Rest assured, they will get done.

I think my biggest problem is that feeling of displacement. It's not a constant anymore, like it was a month ago when I first moved back, but it still rears its ugly head now and then.

I moved out of my parents' house, I did the adult thing and paid for rent and groceries and utilities, made all my own meals every day, did the dishes on my own, did my own laundry and just my own laundry instead of my sisters' as well, and...then it fell apart, and I came crawling back crying my eyes out and sick as hell.

I failed. I almost went somewhere, but I failed.

So here I am, in a trailer in the back yard of my parents' house, listening to the rain against the metal roof and feeling very glad it doesn't leak after all--the house leaks, around the cooler vents and sometimes in one corner of the living room--and wondering what to do with myself.

I have a job. I'm a work-from-home reservationist, as well as the person in charge of advertising and website design for the new touring company I work for, but it doesn't pay very well because 1. It's a new company, and 2. My family owns part of it. The pay isn't really a big deal, here. I guess. But it still adds to the whole displacement thing.

There are...other reasons, too. I can't go into them here, but suffice it to say I dropped a bomb on my mother back on the fourth of this month, and it seems it's been increasingly hard for her to deal with. I don't blame her, I guess, I expected her to take it a lot worse, but I don't like that depressed, introspective look she seems to keep getting after looking at me. Add to that other recent events, and it's starting to feel like I'm just hindering her again. I should have waited to tell her, until all the other things had stopped.

...How could I have known that all the rest was going to happen, though? I need to stop blaming myself. It's not my fault I am who and what I am, and I kept quiet about it for plenty long enough.

But because of that, she doesn't know what or where my future is, and neither do I. That's what makes times like this so hard.

I don't like feeling this alone.

OKAY I TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS EARLIER BUT I DIDN'T BECAUSE I FAIL LIKE THAT.

I am hereby declaring myself pretty much MIA until further notice. That means I'm going on hiatus. I've actually kinda BEEN on hiatus, but I failed and didn't explain that here. Long story, I'll explain it when I get back. Apologies for not mentioning this sooner. >_< SORRY.

ALSO, apparently I'm not getting notes? I'm not sure how long that's been going on, but I got an email from someone today telling me they'd sent me a note when I NEVER GOT IT. WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!

IT'S ABOUT FREAKING TIME, RIGHT?! I've had Veer and the turtlesaur since August of '06, it reeeeaaaally needed changing.

Thus, RaHerz. Chibified RaHerz. HYPER-chibified RaHerz.

I know, I know, it's scary. BUT I THINK IT CAME OUT QUITE CUTE.

Thank you, you may now return to your regularly scheduled dA.

Okay, so, I was unpacking one of the boxes to put things away in my new room (whahey new room!) and I found some prints that I put up for sale at a convention a while back; these are the ones that didn't sell, obviously.

Now, I keep meaning to post these things as being for sale, but forgetting because I'm lame like that. (Really, I am. Srsly.)

SO, I'm doing it now before I forget. I only have one copy of each print, they're all signed or initialed, numbered 1/100, and they're all matted. (No shrink wrapping, unfortunately.) They're also inkjet-printed, but still fairly high-quality. Oh, and any watermarks that appear on the images here aren't on the actual piece.

I thought that seeing as you're the people that actually take the most interest in my art, I'd post about them here first and see if there were any takers.

ACEO PRINTS

• Title: Blue Faerie


• Size: 2.5"x3.5" (Matted to 5"x7")


• Original Media: Prismacolor Pencil and Marker


• PRICE: $6.00 USD (+Shipping) RESERVED

• Title: Twist


• Size: 2.5"x3.5" (Matted to 5"x7")


• Original Media: Prismacolor Pencil and Marker


• PRICE: $6.00 USD (+Shipping) RESERVED

• Title: Full Gallop


• Size:3.5"x2.5" (matted to 7"x5")


• Original Media: Prismacolor Pencils and Markers


• PRICE: $6.00 USD (+Shipping)

• Title: Warmth


• Size: 2.5"x3.5" (matted to 5"x7")


• Original Media: Prismacolor Pencils and Markers


• PRICE: $6.00 USD (+Shipping)

OTHER PRINTS

• Title: No Smoking


• Size: 8"x10" (Matted to 11"x14")


• Original Media: Digital


• PRICE:$21.00 USD (+Shipping)

• Title: Unnecessary


• Size: 8"x10" (Matted to 11"x14")


• Original Media: Digital


• PRICE: $21.00 USD (+Shipping)

• Title: Stolen


• Size: 8"x10" (Matted to 11"x14")


• Original Media: Digital


• PRICE: $21.00 USD (+Shipping)

• Title: Family Moment


• Size: 6.5"x8.5" (Matted to 10"x12")


• Original Media: Digital


• PRICE: $18.00 USD (+Shipping) SOLD

• Title: Synchronized


• Size: 6.5"x4.5" (Matted to 8"x10")


• Original Media: Digital


• PRICE: $11.00 USD (+Shipping)

If you're interested in buying any of these, drop me a line at nashidesei@gmail.com, or leave a comment here and we can work things out via the dA Notes system. I accept cash, postal money orders, and PayPal.

Okay, so, I opened a [CafePress store]. There isn't much there at the moment, but I'm working on it. Now, my internet is going away tomorrow, and won't be back until Monday, but if any of you have suggestions for designs I could slap on shirts and mugs and pins and whatnot, I'd really appreciate them.

Currently, there are only two designs available.


On light things.


On dark shirts.

Any suggestions for other designs--things you and other people would pay to own--would be greatly appreciated. I'm moving, duh, so I really need to make some money here.

And about the matter of moneymaking--I am open for commissions, if anyone is interested. All information is listed [here], now including rates for bust portraits and chibi commissions.

So...I just realized something.

I'm moving out, right? Friday.

I DO NOT OWN MY OWN SCANNER. The one I use here is MOM'S.

This means I can't scan anything until I get one. I can still draw straight to Photoshop, but...I dunno, I'm not as good at that as I am pencil to paper. Never have been. I'll have plenty of time to GET as good at it, I guess, but I'm not really looking forward to it AT ALL.

Basic reason for this post: If you thought my updates were kinda few and far between BEFORE, just wait until I move.

Okay, SO. Blu and I have about fifty RaHerz alterverses. (That's only a minor exaggeration, the current count is at forty-eight.) We write and draw and even doujinshify some of these 'verses.

Thing is...then they never go anywhere. We pass them back and forth between us and MAYBE a couple other friends, and then no one else sees anything. Which, honestly, is kinda depressing, considering I know a lot of you really like the pairing, and would probably love to see more of it, even if it does involve vampires or pirates or sexy, sexy librarians.

So Blu and I went forth to right this wrong and created a most happiest of places, in which the crack that is RaHerz is permitted to run free no matter the universe it's based in! And it is glooorious.

...It's also brand new, though, so there's almost nothing there. Currently there's one doujinshi chapter up, which is a yay, but we're working on coding other stuff that belongs there.

Here's the [link] to the comm. Now, the entries are--or are going to be--locked due to possible explicit material and a wish for LJ to not explode in our faces, so you have to have an LJ account to join. Once you join--actually JOIN, not just watch--you can see whatever the heck we post there, and say whatever you like about it.

Hope you all like this shiny new place of joy and wonder and...joyness!

(And for anyone curious as to why I'm here instead of on my way to California, that's a long story. Suffice it to say, I'm still moving out, but it's not going to be until a week from today, and it's not going to be a state away. S'all good, in the end.)

This morning, I was made aware of the existence of this thing:



Now, you may note that that card uses this picture:



They also have a link that's supposedly meant to credit me with the image, but it just leads to the thumbnail, so it's kind of stupid. And before anyone asks, no, the "artist" didn't ask permission to use Let It Fall. I don't even know who this guy is. I've reported him already, and requested that he take the card down, but I'm sure a couple more voices would help.

Soooo I went and updated the links in my journal header here. I should probably explain what all the links are, though, so people don't just go wtf and move on.

nashi_habits: This is my crack writing comm, where I post the stuff that's a little to out there to post on quelArtistic. (Which is where I post my 'normal' fics.) I have a couple more chapters to add there, so I should really update it.

Shattered Legacy Forums: You should all know what this one is, but in case you don't, this is my Jakiverse RP forum. It's very shiny. And has a lot of nice information on it, too--history, eco theory, terminology, et cetera--so you might like looking at it even if you don't RP. I'm very proud of it.

JakxSeem Forum: This is Zu Lieben Oder Nicht Zu Lieben, and it isn't actually mine. It belongs to ~TruthxLiesxMagic. Buuuut I thought it could use some more publicity, so there it is. 'Cause I ship it. Whoo.

Rezzfic: This is what I tend to call From the Top--and the original working title, believe it or not--and it has a link there because it occurred to me that I don't actually have a link to it anywhere except when I update. And it's something I work on rather avidly, even if it takes a while between updates.

...The commissions link has been there for a while, but it ended up at the bottom of the list there. Oops. I never announced that, though--I'm open for commissions again. Currently I have two in-progress--plus a request that I owe--but if you want to commission me for something, drop me a note and I'll see what I can do.